When was the last time you asked yourself: Why am I in this relationship?
Is it because you genuinely want to be with this person, or because what they offer feels safe, stable, or hard to walk away from?

When those reasons blur, and when you stay just because you always have, anger builds quietly inside. Irritations flare for no reason. Conflicts appear out of nowhere. And, slowly, you feel lost in your own relationship without knowing why.

Let’s imagine a couple — Luna and Rob. They were together, but not really. They were on and off, with more breakups than anniversaries. Conversations ended unresolved. Life moved forward without them ever sorting things out.

Rob never exploded, never showed real anger, never blamed or accused. Even when someone from Luna’s past reached out, he stayed calm.

At first, Luna admired it. Emotional control seemed mature.

But emotions, especially anger, do not disappear just because we do not express them. Trying to hold anger in can make it build up over time and turn into stronger, more harmful feelings (Quartana & Burns, 2007). Rob felt hurt, jealous, and threatened, but he learned early in his life that showing anger could mean rejection, shame, or loss.

Instead of asking, “Can I talk about this?” he asked, “How do I prevent this from happening again?” Slowly, his love language became a coping mechanism. By suppressing anger, he thought he was protecting himself from........

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