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TINA COMEAU: My son's addiction, his death and the blueberries that tore apart my heart

Tina Comeau now raises awareness over substance abuse since the 2024 death of her son Justin Surette

I remember the first time I saw the blueberries.

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How could something so small have such a big impact?

My eyes welled up with tears. I could barely breathe. I was numb. But also an emotional wreck.

I walked away from the blueberries, but I didn’t leave them behind. They followed me with every step in every aisle of the grocery store.

It was a random day in April 2024. Well, maybe not so random. It was nine weeks and four days since my son Justin had died. This was my first trip to the grocery store since his death.

Before Justin died, every time I went to the grocery store, he always asked me to buy him blueberries. But not this day. Justin didn’t need the blueberries anymore. And this gutted me. I couldn’t bring myself to take them home to our empty house.

Since Justin’s death, my husband had looked after the trips to the grocery store. I remember the day he came home and told me the cashier had said to him, “I’m sorry about your son, but it must be getting better now.”

It had only been six weeks.

When I reached the check-out line on my first trip back to the grocery store, I could feel the panic attack coming on. My body was trembling. I was fighting back tears.

In my car, I couldn’t stop crying. It felt like I had lost Justin all over again. All because of those stupid blueberries.

The next time I went to the grocery store, it was the same. And the next time. It wasn’t always because of the blueberries. Once it was the Juicy Fruit gum.

Was this how it would always be?

Fortunately, it wasn’t. Eventually I was able to walk past the blueberries without falling apart. I’d even smile because they reminded me of Justin.

No family is immune, my son Justin's seven-year battle with addiction

Forever loved, now forever missed – my son Justin’s battle with addiction

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