Retired and sleep-challenged Arthur and Martha sat at their mahogany dining table.

They were suffering from PEDS: Post-Employment Disruption Syndrome — a self-diagnosed condition characterized by the terrifying realization that if they disappeared tomorrow, the only person who would notice would be the Amazon delivery driver, because their porch would become cluttered.

“We are ghosts in beige, sensible shoes,” Martha declared, standing up with a sudden energy. “We need to show the world that we are still part of the Active Demographic!”

Their first attempt at relevance involved “The Discourse.” Their kids and grandkids lived far away, so in-person visits were rare. They also considered Martha and Arthur to be impossibly old and thus irrelevant, which discouraged phone calls and texts.

So, Martha decided they should engage with youth on social media. She spent four hours crafting a perfectly punctuated, 800-word comment on a TikTok video of a teenager........

© Peterborough Examiner