Obsessive bodybuilder Brock Stone didn’t just walk; he displaced atmosphere.

Brock’s trapezius muscles were so large they frequently interfered with his peripheral vision, which was why he didn’t see the HR Director, Brenda, until he had nearly flattened her like a protein pancake.

“Brock,” Brenda squeaked, peering up at the mountain of tanned granite and sternly reminding herself that she was happily married. “The company health insurance premiums are up 40 per cent. We need a corporate wellness program. You’re our most … visible athlete. You’re in charge.”

Brock beamed. “Outstanding. I will craft them into gods, Brenda.”

His daily “Stone-Cold Synergy” program launched Monday at 6 a.m. Brock stood in the centre of the break room, which now smelled exclusively of protein/kale smoothies for breakfast. (Lunch would be steamed tilapia and avocado.)

He had replaced the ergonomic chairs with oversized medicine balls and swapped the communal coffee........

© Peterborough Examiner