It’s tourist season again and Americans will soon be flooding our city, starting with this weekend’s F1 Grand Prix race.

As we fight our “soft war” against U.S. tariffs, this is your chance to influence, infiltrate, maybe even convert Americans to our side — and help the trade winds shift.

In every war you need spies on the enemy’s side, secretly working for you. So here’s a guide to spotting and converting American tourists into secret Canadian allies.

1. Identifying your target: You can spot Americans in the usual tourist habitats: Old Montreal, the Big Owe and on Mount Royal, looking for the lookout.

Or staring in utter bewilderment at our no-parking signs.

Don’t waste your time on New Englanders, like that convoy of wonderful Vermonters who came to Jean-Talon Market several weeks ago to spend American dollars at par. They’re on our side.

Instead, study your prey carefully. If they’re wearing Vermont “Green Mountain Coffee Roaster” T-shirts or Edmonton Oilers sweatshirts, forget it. They’re already with us.

Then again, if they’re sporting MAGA hats or “Make Canada the 51st State” tattoos, don’t bother, either. You’ll just get an earful about how the pandemic was a secret plot to get us all vaccinated and hack into our brains.

What you’re looking for are undecided........

© Montreal Gazette