It became clear on Tuesday afternoon how little Scottish politics now matters. At no other time since the birth of devolution have the nation’s affairs, all of our disputes and grand projects, seemed so utterly irrelevant in the grand scheme. Yet another British Prime Minister politely told a leader of the SNP that Scottish independence was not even a subject for any further discussion and that the matter was closed. And then, as if to emphasise the fact, Andy Burnham effectively announced that he had bought off Labour’s Scottish leader with the political equivalent of a Curly-Wurly and a lifetime supply of Monster Munch.

Anas Sarwar is expected to become a junior minister in the (checks notes) “revamped Department for Business, Innovation, Science and Trade”. Thus, Holyrood’s leader of the opposition will now spend much of his time carrying the bags for his London masters, fetching skinny lattes at trade fairs and dancing with robots at artificial intelligence symposia. In order to sweeten the deal, Mr Burnham has chucked in a tidy wee House of Lords peerage. The new Prime Minister obviously knows that Scottish Labour grandees have become rather partial to their fur coats and their discounted Steamed Kentish Pumpkin Dumplings (with herb-infused vegan cheese, no less).

The supine Mr Sarwar now joins a long and ignoble list of Scottish Tribunes of the People who have swaddled themselves in ermine and comfy slippers. All those chiefly responsible for Scottish Labour’s demise are now sitting together nicely with England’s aristocracy: the Baron McConnell of Glenscorrodale, the Baron Reid of Cardowan, the Baron Foulkes of Cumnock, the Baroness Liddell of Coatdyke, the Baroness Adams of Craigielea, the........

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