I am standing at the counter of one of the big four banks, speaking with a kind and patient teller. Her name is Camille. The amicable calm is suddenly shattered by a bloke who marches to the front, barking about his locked account.

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He has a busy life and multiple responsibilities, he is entitled to have this problem solved immediately. His demeanour gets louder and feels threatening. His mood degenerates into a full-blown meltdown. I feel nervous, but the teller tells me this happens every other day.

Days later I am shopping for special birthday chocolates, and again feeling anxious. Outside the shop I'm trying to get into, a bunch of young men are brawling, wrestling. Inside the store, I find other people hesitating at the exit, concerned they'll get caught up. The lovely store manager Mackenzie walks me to my car because I'm freaked out. I'm not particularly frail but that roiling big dick energy is disturbing.

We need a few solutions folks. All of us need to pitch in. And maybe Mark Parton has the answers. Parton, the ACT's Opposition Leader, is the self-appointed shadow minister for men and boys. I don't think he's quite got the whole picture. He told a forum last week that men and boys are not the problem.

About the same time as that forum was happening I read about a so-called "rape academy" uncovered by US media outlet CNN, where men learn ways to drug and rape their partners in much the same way as Gisele Pelicot was violated by her former husband Dominique. There are claims 62 million men visited a particular website and a connected group on Telegram - the good news is that the figure is likely to be inflated by men looking at other material on these platforms. The bad news is that none of that was about being a better man.

And then data from nearly 3000 surveys of men in the US and Canada crosses my desk. The Canadian researchers aimed to assess rates of........

© Canberra Times