M y partner is warm and attentive when things are going well, but the moment life gets stressful, he shuts down. I end up carrying the emotional load for both of us, and it’s starting to feel like I’m dating two different people. How do I ask for consistency without nagging? – Who Are You?

Who Are You? – I have learned that if I ask for something more than once, it’s nagging. But sometimes people do need to be asked quite a few times for the request to sink in. That’s very unfair that when life starts to actually life, which is normal for all of us, he leaves you high and dry. It should be both of you carrying the tough times. He shouldn’t just be enjoying the easy times. It sounds like he’s unable to manage stress so maybe he needs to seek some therapy for himself and learn some good coping skills. Just be honest and tell him what you need. Tell him that you need him to be present in all aspects of life and not just when it suits him. And that it’s unfair to you and selfish on his end that you have to oversee the hard........

© Yuma Sun