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John BostonSanta Clarita Valley Signal |
Once, I snapped at Ruth Newhall. In the newsroom. Strangest thing? I am here, alive, and able to talk about my death-inviting stupidity. It was...
I’ve grown fond of publicly writing the phrase, “as I begin to approach middle age.” It irritates many literal thinkers with sound math and...
Hardly a day goes by where I don’t think of my dad. One of the great gifts of my lifetime was being able to spend time with him his final […] The...
Today my column is about ugliness. When we bandy about the word, “ugly,” we’re not talking about You-Know-Who’s wife and what she actually...
I shan’t shed a tear over the Colorado Rockies 21-0 loss recently to San Diego. After all. The Padres were on a sugar high from getting a new pope....
DEAR STEVE GORDON, DIRECTOR, CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES — I place my 10 little adept digits to keyboard this fine May morn, Steve, with...
Normally, being a male suppressor, or, as we used to call ourselves, “a guy,” I would not discuss belly dancing in public, certainly not with a...
My godson’s son’s birthday was last week. Riley turned 13 and those with kids know that years shrink to minutes when nostalgia raises its weepy...
DEAR KEVIN A. KLOCKENGA, CEO & MOST HIGH HOLY MUCKY-MUCK CEO OF HENRY MAYO NEWHALL HOSPITAL — First, Kevin, phew. I wish The Signal paid me by the...
DEAR MR. SANTA CLARITA VALLEY — I place digits to laptop to protest the current sorry state of local Santa Clarita Valley water, how it’s being...
JOHN BOSTON NATIONAL NEWS SERVICES — In a major upheaval of the three branches of federal government, a lone dog catcher in Santa Clarita, a yuppie...
So. I had an embarrassing moment the other day. I was lunching at Whole Foods, a dangerous proposition in itself. Sometimes, the buffet is a...
Funny how much I’ve been thinking about my dad lately. I used to keep my trophies at his acreage and, one day, we had a minor earthquake. Boxes fell...
I’d attach a kind estimate that 99% of the dear citizens of Santa Clarita know not a thing about that old, beige building on the northwest corner of...
My dad, dear, lovable angel of a person, Walt Cieplik, died crazy. There was a never a kinder man. The twin devils of Alzheimer’s and dementia took...
Somewhere, safely wrapped away, is my old Hart letterman’s jacket. Me being me, I couldn’t just stick with the traditional maroon and grey school...
When she was little, my dear sweetie pie daughter and I were strolling down the ancient wooden sidewalks of Melody Ranch a few days before the Cowboy...
DEAR CONGRESSMAN GEORGE WHITESIDES: My apologies for my debilitating tardiness, George. I’ve been meaning to ask you for a few favors since your...
Today the valley will be abuzz with a flurry of romantic activity ranging from true love to Fear For Your Life guilt. It’s Valentine’s Day. On...
A poker game, thrown tomato, a rotting corpse and a lazy-asterisks honorary mayor were ultimately responsible for the creation of our city. Long...
Many years ago, I met this tech exec at the nosebleed levels of Microsoft management. Wish there was flirtation to spice up the story. Sorry....
Old-timers love to wax nostalgic about the good old days, how beauty and poetry flew lazily across the Santa Clarita Valley, like butterflies and...
So it’s no big secret. I’m on Facebook. I keep up with the goings-on of old and dear high school chums, former workplace clock watchers and...
DEAR FAM & LOOSELY ASSOCIATED FELONS — Drat I know I’m later than an Antelope Valley junior college teen bride sans moral compass with our annual...
I am forever wealthy for the memories I’ve built in this Santa Clarita, from being a skinny and lost kid here in the 1950s, living in the old hotel...
I am a complete knucklehead for attempting to share a physical impersonation in a poorly written text commentary. So. What else is new? One of my...
I am blessed with many Thanksgiving adventures, ridiculous to sublime. My dear niece-like substance Stefanie is now climbed up and over the half-...
Since I was a kid, writing for this most amazing, unique and eclectic swashbuckling newspaper, I’ve viewed The Mighty Signal’s editorials as...
Unlucky and woeful me. I never got the memo. That was four years ago when Joe Biden, the absolute moron sandwich-eating worst leader since Vlad the...
My daughter and I are not mall people. Or Disneyland people. We like music, but not noise. It was about 10 years ago when we were at the Northridge...
What on Earth is this thing I’ve done? Dare I say — “Again?” All this time, energy that has mysteriously disappeared, the specter that this...
So I’m thinking about creating a new high-tech start-up and already I’m faced with debilitating roadblocks. First, there’s the fact that when it...
Here I am, so close to middle age. I so could have used this expression in school, at work, in relationships, when pulled over far too many times...
I don’t know if Ricky Deising slept with one of Genghis Khan’s wives in a previous life to warrant banishment to South Russia or if Ricky D’s the...
I participated in my first-ever Trump rally last weekend. Sat in a giant thwoppida-thwoppida diesel pickup with a dear pal driving. I’m guessing...
My first instinct is to point a gnarled index finger at just — SOMEBODY. With email, texts, UPS, FedEx, the 21st century forest deity of...
It lay abandoned, on the department store floor, toy aisle if memory serves. I pretty much lived The Childhood Unsupervised and was in third grade....
My daughter was home for a scant three weeks and one of our favorite things is to run errands around the valley where I can bore her to tears with...
DEAR BEN SHAPIRO — Thank you, sir, for testifying, with Cyrano-like elan, before Congress recently about liberal censorship. You and I point out...
Back when I was little, I fretted about existential crises, like would I be required to smoke cigarettes as a grown-up, or, how, or, more...
I swim. Regularly. I actually cheat-swim in that sometimes I use small swim flippers, which makes the difference of racing through the water in an...
Right off the bat, here’s two competing concepts. Each day, each moment, is filled with uncountable blessings. We take in life-giving breaths...
I’m long past my tree-climbing days, but that doesn’t stop me from staring. From my office huge picture window, I often slouch, put my feet up and...
I am a 21st-century man, unable to free myself from my computer. I write books and columns, edit videos and am in the midst of starting yet another...
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