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John BostonSanta Clarita Valley Signal |
DEAR PRESIDENT TRUMP — Hi! I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Bob. Bob Ali. Subordinate Holy Lance Private and The People’s Most Blindingly...
On any given day, there is a given day. Every blank space on the calendar comes with some sort of “National” or “Official” warning on the...
I’ve been driving up and down Santa Clarita’s longest-existing typographical error since I was a kid. Bouquet Canyon Road would unofficially shut...
Once I had the neatest conversation with Chuck Norris. You know. Karate guy? Movie and TV star? One of Earth’s toughest people? I was sports editor...
Years ago, I borrowed a wonderful and highly recommended book from my daughter’s teacher. Ken Lavner was light years beyond a gifted mentor —...
I’ve always been a night owl and find peace in small hours when milk men and vampires stir. The Saugus Café was sanctuary, back when it was famous...
I wonder how I’ll do this year. It’s 2026, just a couple days into it. My New Year’s Resolutions are still sporting the “WET PAINT” sign....
The year 2026 is right around the corner and I know I am paid to rend flesh and entrails over the myriad of civilization-ending issues facing us....
It’s almost Christmas and I’m happy. I used to go complete robot cattle stampede when it came to celebrating. I’d purchase a new, live tree...
One of my dear, childhood friends is Curtis Stone and the heavens haven’t molded a kinder guy. You know? Me, too. I’m a kinder guy. We’re both...
George Bernard Shaw once offered a toothy observation about Christianity. He said it was a great religion. Maybe someone should try practicing it...
I, JOHN BOSTON, am happier than a puppy with two you-know-whats, to present today’s column. I think it’s important that the citizens of SClarita...
There’s a website that I worship in this twisted, love/hate relationship. It’s the Babylon Bee. I’d add a “dot.com” to it, but management...
Antaeus was the Greek king and giant who fought Heracles and lost. His name is the root of the prefix of “anti,” meaning, “opponent,” or, “I...
It’s actually Halloween smack dab today and I thought what better 5-pound box o’ See’s Candy (the no-nuts version) treat to give my two loyal...
I need a monkey. A small one. A can-do monkey who doesn’t mind getting his paws soaked in white vinegar, dish soap and Windex. No. That’s not the...
When I was 6, I was pretty upset with the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics’ First Secretary Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev. The shoe-pounding...
Many years ago, I took an acting class. Missing was any delusion that I’d be the future Brad Pitt. I just wanted to improve my writing by bringing...
Something wrong has happened to us. It’s never any one event. Rather, death by a thousand paper cuts. In the same week, I spotted essentially the...
I cannot recall owning a sharp-clawed Bengal tiger cub. Or, taking a part-time job as an underbrush-slashing jungle guide. I’m not currently seeing...
DEAR PRESIDENT TRUMP — Humbly I throw my hat (the one with the moose antlers, human eyeballs, spikes and barbed wire?) into the ring. I understand...
If someone told me when I was a scrawny, scared student at Placerita Junior High in the early 1960s that I’d grow up to become many things,...
One million B.C., coincidentally the same time to the minute Raquel Welch appeared as that shapely Neanderthal babe in the movie of the same name, I...
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