I shan’t shed a tear over the Colorado Rockies 21-0 loss recently to San Diego. After all. The Padres were on a sugar high from getting a new pope. It’s to be expected. I’d chalk up the Cirque du Soleil clownish ineptitude and league-leading worst record to Colorado being a blue state. But then, how would you explain the Dodgers? Or, year after year, the Yankees?

There’s a joke going around: “Colorado is under investigation for taking performance-diminishing drugs.”

As of press time, the Rockies are 8-42. Unless there’s several major and fatal team bus accidents that leave Colorado as pro baseball’s last living franchise, it doesn’t look good for the Rockies to make the playoffs. Not in Major League Baseball. Not in all-girls second-grade T-ball and that’s if they salted the roster with bearded dudes in pigtails and Minnie Mouse pink baseball cleats.

Being nostalgic, I must confess. I’m worried that the Rockies could overtake my favorite pro baseball loser of all time — the 1899 Cleveland Spiders.

Former Hart principal (back when they were the Indians) Laurrie Strauss, played for them. Kidding. But the Spiders do still hold the record for futility, amassing the last season of the 19th century with just 20 wins and 134 losses — finishing 84 games out of first. This may open old wounds for some of you, but, may I add — just like Kamala Harris?

With a little luck, like a bunch of illegal alien Tren de Aragua gang members on bicycles shooting up the Centennial State ballclub’s franchise apartment complex, the Disaster in Denver could own the worst record in baseball history. By the way?........

© Santa Clarita Valley Signal