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Caregiving has a burnout problem

How to handle secondhand stress, financial strain, and more.

More than 63 million people in America are caregivers — of kids, of parents, and loved ones. And nearly half of caregivers under the age of 50 are taking care of a parent and a child at the same time. Maybe you’re one of them. Maybe you’re also trying to hold down a job and handle everything else that life throws your way. And maybe it’s got you feeling spent. When we think of burnout, we often think of work, but caring for a loved one can leave you exhausted too.

Amy Goyer is the AARP’s National Family and Caregiving Expert, and she also knows this exhaustion first hand. Goyer has been a caregiver for most of her life, beginning in her 20s — first, for her grandparents, then, later, for her parents and her sister.

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“I felt like I was living four people’s lives,” she told Explain It to Me, Vox’s weekly call-in podcast. “When you have someone, especially someone that you love, who is going through so much, and it’s physical stress, it’s emotional stress, financial stress, you know, every type of stress you can think of, you may be absorbing that. And that’s on top of the normal stress of caregiving. It’s like the membrane between the two of you kind of gets thin.”

Goyer says this phenomenon is known as secondhand stress. In the latest episode of Explain It to Me, Goyer explains the signs of secondhand stress, how you can recover from and prevent burnout as a caregiver, and more.

Below is an excerpt of our conversation, edited for length and clarity. You can listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’d like to submit a question, send an email to askvox@vox.com or call 1-800-618-8545.

What is the definition of secondhand stress?

It’s the emotional strain of being with a........

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