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This Common Habit Can Quietly Destroy Your Relationship

Experts say chronic defensiveness can shut down honest conversations, leaving one partner unheard while resentment quietly builds.

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Today, it seems everyone is expecting perfection from those around them, but rarely from themselves. When it comes to dating, we have ridiculously high standards for one another, from appearance and personality to communication style and availability. While respect, kindness, and love are must-haves, no partner will ever be the perfect partner.

However, there are certain behaviors worth addressing in our partners or relationships, as they can damage even the healthiest of connections. One such pattern is defensiveness. In relationships, defensiveness can quickly and unintentionally spiral into a controlling behavior or manipulative reaction. 

“Defensiveness rarely controls a partner by actually telling them what they can or can’t do,” says Giulia P. Davis, LMFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Founder of Mycelia Therapy. “It controls by making certain conversations so difficult that eventually the other person........

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