5 Tips for Using Body Language to Fix Things With Your Partner After a Fight
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5 Tips for Using Body Language to Fix Things With Your Partner After a Fight
Your brain might say I’m sorry, but your body is saying fight me.
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If you’ve heard of “March Theory”—I swear there’s a theory for everything these days—then you might be on edge in your relationship this month. Essentially, the TikTok trend suggests that March is a pivotal time for relationships, often adding pressure that will either make or break connections.
Of course, eclipse season and Mercury retrograde only add more fuel to this theoretical fire.
But just because dating influencers or TikTok astrologers tell you you’re destined for heartbreak doesn’t make it true. However, with these added pressures on your mind, you might be sensitive to any shift in energy you notice in your relationship.
Thankfully, if you do catch yourself in an argument or insecure place with your partner, there are ways to ease the tension and return to a neutral, loving space together.
“If you’ve messed up or escalated a conflict, the instinct is to talk more, apologize harder, or defend yourself,” said psychology PhD and body language expert Guy Taylor at Casinos Analyzer. “That’s often the wrong move. Before you say another word, you need to fix what your body is signaling, since that also communicates whether you are safe to reconnect with before you even say another word.”
Taylor offered a few simple ways to reset your body language after a fight with your partner.
I don’t know about you, but any time I argue with someone, my body immediately folds in on itself, attempting to become as small as possible. However, this communicates that you’re closed off to the other person, which can feel like a rejection to them.
“After a fight, particularly when you know you were in the wrong, people often unconsciously ‘roll up’ their bodies, folding inward with shoulders hunched and arms close to the body, as if protecting themselves,” Taylor said. “Adopting a more open posture doesn’t magically create confidence, but it can prevent your body from signaling discomfort or defensiveness.”
Next time, try straightening your shoulders and spine and opening your chest. You might even feel a boost in confidence in doing so.
2. Maintain Eye Contact
Eye contact can feel vulnerable after a fight, but avoiding that intimate connection can prolong your conflict.
“Persistent, but not intense, eye contact increases trust, signals engagement, and reduces perceptions of avoidance or shyness,” Taylor explained. “It also generates a feeling of interest in what others are saying, while avoiding an intense stare. Remember, it’s important to make it natural and friendly.”
3. Don’t Cross Your Arms
As someone who perpetually crosses her arms in an attempt (or failure) not to look awkward, I know how difficult it is to break this habit.
However, “Crossed arms, especially following a conflict, might be read as tension or emotional withdrawal, which can hinder reconnection,” Taylor said.
“Even if it’s not true, that’s what the other person’s brain might be reading,” he added. “Visible palms and open hands reduce the perception of threat, increase approachability, and are associated with honesty and willingness to cooperate.”
4. Pause Before Responding
You know what they say: it’s best to respond, not react. If you can pause before jumping back into a heated conversation, you might just save your entire relationship.
“After a conflict, people tend to talk faster, move more sharply, and give out anxiety with their bodies,” said Taylor. “A short pause reduces reactivity, and it gives the brain time to switch from an emotional response to a more rational one.”
5. Create a Reset Signal
Is there a certain way you can reassure your partner with your body language?
“A small smile, an open gesture, or a softer gaze can act as a reset signal,” says Taylor. “These cues help lower tension and signal that you’re no longer in a defensive or confrontational state. You’re showing that you’re stable, present, and open to moving forward.”
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