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You Can Make $1,000 an Hour Smelling Dog Breath

Sorry, VICE. I might have to put in my notice.

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Would You Smell Stinky Dog Breath for $1,000 an Hour? Of Course You Would, and You Can.

A New York City-based dog food subscription company called Spot & Tango is hiring contractors for two very specific, very unconventional roles—a Dog Breath Sniffer and a Dog Kisser—both paying up to $1,000 an hour. Yes, you read that correctly.

The Breath Sniffer gig involves canvassing NYC dog parks, conducting breath tests on willing pups, and developing what the listing calls a “funk-o-meter evaluation metric.” Candidates are expected to keep detailed scent notes—think “hint of tuna, eau de garbage, delightfully neutral”—and run competitive analysis in real time. A keen nose is non-negotiable. “If you’re a sommelier, chocolatier, barista, or perfumer, you’re perfect,” the listing states.

Experience in veterinary tech or pet wellness is a bonus, but not required. However, unlimited dog cuddles are guaranteed.

This Dog Food Company Is Paying $1,000 an Hour for a Dog Kisser and Breath Sniffer (Seriously)

The Dog Kisser role is essentially quality control. Successful candidates will accept kisses from a rotating roster of city dogs, document and rate each interaction, scout potential dog ambassadors throughout the five boroughs, and report findings back to the team. The ideal hire is obsessed with dogs and, per the listing, possesses “thick skin, a soft heart, and a face that dogs instinctively want to lick.” Both positions come with what the company describes as “killer merch.”

Worth noting—this isn’t Spot & Tango’s first rodeo. The company posted a similar breath-sniffing role last year, except that it paid considerably less, at $25 an hour. Apparently, the budget has grown. The work supports the brand’s PupGum dental chew, designed to tackle bad breath and reduce bacteria linked to periodontal disease in dogs.

Before you update your resume, though, there’s something you should probably know. The long-standing belief that a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s is, medically speaking, completely false. “Dogs spend half their life with their noses in nasty corners or hovering over dog droppings so their muzzles are full of bacteria, viruses, and germs of all sorts,” John Oxford, professor of virology and bacteriology at Queen Mary University in London, told the New York Post. One bacterium found in dog saliva, Capnocytophaga Canimorsus, can cause fatal infections, including sepsis and organ failure.

Commenters online were predictably divided. One person said they’d happily do it for that rate. Another pointed out that plenty of pet owners let their dogs lick their faces for free every single day.

Hard to argue with either of them. The application is open.

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