menu_open Columnists
We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close

The 3-Word Phrase That’s Actually Ruining Your Relationship

9 0
18.08.2026

Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

The 3-Word Phrase That’s Actually Ruining Your Relationship

Experts say repeatedly saying “I don’t mind” can shift the mental load onto your partner and slowly build frustration and resentment.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

“I don’t mind” is one of the most passive-aggressive things you can say to a partner, and most people who say it have no idea.

The phrase is used all the time: what to have for dinner, where to go on vacation, what to watch on TV. On its face, it signals flexibility, an easy person to be around. What it actually does is hand the entire cognitive load of a decision to the other person while the speaker gets to coast on their own reasonableness. Relationship expert and couples counselor Ness Cooper told Metro that this response can constitute weaponized incompetence, the behavioral pattern in which one partner acts helpless or........

© Vice