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4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

VICE Album Reviews, October 23: Kid Rock, Fine, Wolves in the Throne Room, and More

Delivering Old Testament justice to the week’s new releases, also including Shabazz Palaces, Baby Lasagna, and Lisa.

By Adam Christopher Smith

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Music journalism is going to the wall, and places for sensible, well-informed, nuanced takes on the latest releases are dwindling. So we thought we might as well put the final nail in the coffin.

Read this month’s album reviews here, here, and here.

Kid RockHalfway 2 JesusTop Dog RecordsI’m sure you’ve all been impatient to find out what the top dog has to say about this new album of Kid Rock worship songs, but I’ve taken my time with this one, as is only right, because you know who else made everyone wait? Jesus Christ. And if he had been greeted with this record on his return, even he might have questioned his decision to come back to Earth and redeem our mortal souls.

If you’re not a schizoid poster (which, let’s face it, probably doesn’t apply to most VICE readers) you might not have realized that this 17-track album, released October 17, is named after the biblical verse “James 1:17”, which is also the name of the album’s lead single, a lightweight piece of gospel slop, something you’d have to be a numerologist to really enjoy.

Kid Rock has described this record as being about second chances, forgiveness, and showing grace, all of which are famous guiding principles for the United States military, so there’s no contradiction whatsoever in him becoming the one-man house band for the U.S. Department of War in recent times. If, like Kid, you are truly committed to “trying to heal some of the division,” how better to show it than with an official “God Bless America” basketball jersey, which has a big-ass fucking eagle with red, white, and blue wings on the front and James 1:17 emblazoned across the back? It’s currently on preorder, which is, obviously, the only thing stopping me from wearing it to the gym.

You can often find me pumping iron to “American Badass” and shaking my head the whole time so the people in the gym know I disagree with Kid Rock’s politics (a couple of times, I’ve had big guys come check on me as I’ve been so vehement in my disapproval it appears I’m having a medical episode), but unfortunately, if you’re able to endure the hell that is Halfway 2 Jesus, you won’t even be rewarded with a modest workout high.

What’s sad but true is that religious music is a lot like comedy: not all great writing is funny, but all great writers are........

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