Russian writer and philosopher Leo Tolstoy created many literary masterpieces during his lifetime, including Anna Karenina and War and Peace. Works of love and tragedy, Tolstoy’s real life mirrored the full spectrum of the human experience, including in his marriage.

Tolstoy married his wife Sophia Bers (also ‘Sofia’ and ‘Sofya’, as well as ‘Sonya‘, which is the common Russian diminutive for Sofya), in 1862. He was 34, she was 18. Her father was a successful doctor in Moscow. Their marriage was famously tumultuous, but lasted 48 years.

Tolstoy shared his insights into marriage, summing up his wisdom in a single sentence that holds true in modern day life:

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.”

Despite their differences, Tolstoy and his wife put his advice into practice.

How their marriage actually began

Tolstoy’s marriage to Sophia began like many: happy. Leah Bendavid-Val, author of Song Without Words: The Photographs and Diaries of Countess Sophia Tolstoy, told NPR that, “They were madly in love when they got married in 1862, and they shared everything, including their diaries. They used their diaries........

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