If you ask a group of people what qualities they admire in a person, authenticity will often top the list. We tend to like people who know who they are and aren’t afraid to share it. We like people who are their truest selves.

But there seems to be some confusion about what authenticity—or being authentic, or one’s truest self—actually means. According to neuropsychologist Theo Tsaousides, authenticity is often conflated with honesty, consistency, or “being real,” but that’s not what it is.

Confusing authenticity with impulsivity

Saying or doing whatever comes into our heads might be described as being “real” or “honest.” A person who shares an unnecessary, unkind criticism might say, “I’m just being real.” Someone who says the first thing that comes to mind without considering how it comes across might say, “I’m just being honest.” But does that mean we’re being authentic—especially if we don’t use any kind of conscious filter before expressing ourselves?

The kind of realness and honesty that often gets conflated with authenticity is really just impulsivity. When people share their raw thoughts or feelings without any conscious intention, they aren’t necessarily being authentic. They’re being impulsive in a way that may not actually reflect their true selves. And when impulsive rudeness,........

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