If social media were around in 1980, my prom experience would have gone viral.

As it went, I didn't know my date very well. She was in my photography class, very pretty and, more importantly, available.

When she agreed to go with me, a great disruption occurred in the Bethel Park High prom-date pecking order. Whereas my date greatly improved my public stature — even my friends and family were surprised she agreed to go with me — I significantly lowered hers.

She was awfully sore about it.

“I heard about you,” she told me at our pre-prom date. “A regular class clown! You better not show up in a limo, wear a top hat or cane or do anything else to embarrass me!”

The authenticity of such a painful video clip surely would have racked up a few million TikTok views.

Still, I wanted to impress her. I bought her the finest corsage at our high........

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