Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik told the story of a Seder he remembered from his early childhood.  Yosef Dov, who would later become the great Rav Soloveitchik, was just about six years old when he was sitting with his family on the Seder night in their hometown in Poland. They had just made the Kiddush and in walks the Rav’s grandfather, the revered Rav Chaim Soloveitchik, also known as Rav Chaim Brisker. One of the leading Torah authorities for the Eastern European Jewish community, Rav Chaim Brisker was a giant of a Torah sage and part of a dynastic rabbinic family.  In walks Rav Chaim wearing a pot on his head. His grandson, little Yosef Dov, looks up at his grandfather and asks: “Zaide, why are you wearing a pot on your head?” To which Rav Chaim answered: “Because tonight, my dear grandson, is different than all other nights. Tonight our ancestors were redeemed from Egypt.” He then proceeded to engage the entire family which included small children, women and older men in a dialogue, in a conversation about the story of the Exodus.

Rav Chaim did something strange to try to connect not only with his son, Rav Moshe, who was a great sage too, but also with his six year old grandson, his wife, children and grandchildren. Rav Chaim made certain that everyone at the table was involved in the conversation because that is the mitzvah of the Seder Night – for everyone, no matter what age, background or gender, to speak about and relate to the story of the Exodus of our people. Therefore, the discussion must be tailored to all those assembled and we must do things to make sure everyone is engaged and everyone’s attention is aroused, even if it means wearing a pot on our heads.

The idea of tailoring the Seder to whoever is present is most dramatically demonstrated through the famous Fours Sons. The Haggadah speaks about four types of children who each ask their own question at the Seder table, the wise son, the rebellious son, the simple son and the child who cannot even ask. In relating to the very different questions, these different children all ask different questions and receive different answers. In doing so, our Sages teach us a fundamental principal in education: “Teach your son according to his way”(Proverbs 22:6).  Based on this verse our........

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