I was on the floor of my friend’s Hollywood apartment with a microphone in my hand, singing my heart out to our makeshift karaoke. I was high and had made my way down a bottle of wine. Just a couple of hours before, I had texted my World Cup pod to let them know we had to completely change our plans. New Guy had just broken up with me.

Yeah. That New Guy. Maybe I should change his name. It was a thirteen-minute phone call in which he explained he just wasn’t feeling it, something I wasn’t expecting from a guy who told his mom about me a week before. There wasn’t much more to say. No is no.

New Guy and I came from different backgrounds that felt familiar. He never made me feel like I was too much or not enough. I walked into a bar on the West Side of Los Angeles for our first date with my guard up. He didn’t have to try hard to lower it. We made friends with the couple next to us. We made friends everywhere we went.

From the beginning, our relationship felt like it would create expansion, like it was big enough to contain what we both wanted and more. I’ve always felt like I was too much. Too ambitious, too silly, too loud, too serious, too invested, too decisive, too passionate, too opinionated. Too overwhelming for anyone to hold. He made me feel like I could still be more. Like there could be more. More conversation. More curiosity. More room for both of us to be ourselves. Chemistry isn’t uncommon. Ease is.........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)