I may be a pesky Pisces but this gets my cosmic goat: I was diagnosed by astrology

June 29, 2026 — 3:30pm

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I was recently venting a frustration to an acquaintance who abruptly said, “What’s your star sign?”

“Pisces,” I replied, cautiously. She gave a knowing nod. “Ahh, yes. Typical water sign. You’re struggling to adapt because Neptune is doing doughnuts around Saturn right now.”

According to her, I just needed the right energy – maybe some smoky quartz would bring my mojo back. I was taken aback by this non-consensual diagnosis. Someone I barely knew had assessed me based on the cosmic vibes of my birth month. I didn’t know whether to thank her, offer her 50 bucks or tell her where she could shove her crystals.

Growing up Pentecostal Christian, we were warned of the dangers of being overly zealous. Don’t blurt out, “Do you know where you’re going when you die?” when someone asks what you’re up to on the weekend. Mild turn-off is an understatement.

And yet, here we are........

© The Sydney Morning Herald