So you want to live forever? Excellent. You’ve come to the right place. Here at Gilgamesh-Makropulos Limited, we know a thing or two about immortality. First, we need to track your metrics: biological age versus chronological age, average number of erections per night, metabolic health, maximal oxygen consumption, heart rate variability, stool volume and colour and salivary flow rate. Sound good? My assistant will fetch the paperwork. 

Revealed: How the Treasury abandoned numeracy to boost diversity

Will Starmer’s last defender please turn out the lights

What is Andy Burnham hiding?

This might seem like the beginning of a potboiler sci-fi rip-off. But it’s actually closer to our reality than Bernard Williams would have liked. While we still haven’t achieved immortality, the cult of ‘longevity’ has become something of a gold rush in recent years. It is estimated that there are more than 700 biotech companies specialising in the extension of human life. From 2021 to 2023, a staggering $18 billion was funnelled into longevity research. Today, the market is valued at around $30 billion.

That has led to an entire catalogue of treatments claiming to help us live longer: red light therapy for cell turnover, vitamin injections, the ‘brain-boosting’ medical dye methylene blue (supposedly endorsed by US Health Secretary RFK Jr) and even cryonics, the preservation of legally dead bodies in the hope we can bring them back at a later........

© The Spectator