Geoffrey has a merit in Grade 7 piano (taken 52 years ago), a distinction in Grade 1 recorder (59 years ago) and no qualifications whatsoever on the organ. Regardless, this makes him the most talented churchgoing musician under the age of 75 in the parish of Nether Marsham. As such, he has been the village organist for the worse half of the last decade.  

How Kemi Badenoch saved the Tories

Ranulph Fiennes and the perils of depriving liberty

City may have damaged the Premier League beyond repair

 It happened quite by accident one Christmas Eve. Geoffrey’s sister-in-law wasn’t the only reason he had spent three hours in the Fox and Hounds before Midnight Mass; it was also his first Yuletide since taking early retirement and he was in a generally ebullient mood. But there’s no doubt that four pints of Guinness on an empty stomach were a contributory factor to Geoffrey launching into a falsetto descant for both ‘Hark the Herald’ and ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful’, despite furious glances from his wife, Anne.

The vicar collared Geoffrey on the way out. That was quite the........

© The Spectator