Camilla bought their place in the Burnhams when she discovered she was pregnant with her third child – following a heavy après sesh at La Folie Douce in Megève. Realising they’d never ski again as a family of four, and with memories of the Costa Smeralda fading like an over-exposed Polaroid, she convinced Johnnie that getting a holiday cottage made financial sense. ‘Because they’re virtually giving away buy-to-let mortgages.’ And as Kirsty Allsopp, who went to the same school as Camilla but was at least ten years older, always says, it’s an income stream.  

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With Cornwall getting a bit common and the Freuds colonising Suffolk, Camilla opts for windswept Norfolk, picturing the kids dressed in matching miniature fishermen’s smocks by knapped flint walls while hollyhocks bob gently about their heads. 

The cottage was an impulse buy, bought unseen, fuelled by raging first trimester hormones and a ghastly estate agent who told her it was going to best and final offers. When she freaked that they were overpaying, Johnnie rolled his eyes behind the Financial Times and told her to pull herself together. 

And so, for just shy of half-a-mill, they........

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