The murder of Gulaan Bharo is being discussed as yet another “honour killing” from rural Sindh. Another tragic headline. Another woman murdered after attempting to save herself. Another public debate about tribal customs, feudal structures, and weak legal protections. Yet reducing such violence to “backward feudal culture” alone is deeply misleading. This mentality is not confined to remote villages or uneducated communities. It exists across Pakistan — in cities, in northern Punjab, in educated households, and within families that outwardly present themselves as modern and respectable.

The vocabulary may differ, but the logic remains the same.

A woman in our society is rarely raised as an individual who fully belongs to herself. Instead, she is raised as a carrier of family honour, first her father’s, then her husband’s, and eventually her children’s. Her choices, mobility, marriage, happiness, and even suffering become tied to the collective reputation of those around her. Her existence is treated not as personal but symbolic.

And whose honour is this exactly?

It is the same “izzat” for which daughters are expected to tolerate abuse, remain in violent marriages, and sacrifice their well-being for appearances. Women are told to compromise endlessly, for the sake of children, family reputation, and social acceptance. They are advised to stay silent, to endure, to adjust. A daughter can be humiliated, beaten, emotionally broken, or trapped in an unhappy marriage for years, and society will still consider her “respectable” so long as she remains obedient and does not return home.

Yet somehow, an unmarried and independent woman is........

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