With impeccable choreography, the Melania movie was unleashed in cinemas on the same day as the release of the Epstein Files – the Final Avalanche. The former showcases the ultimate Stepford wife for the cast of leading men appearing in the latter.

According to universally-derisive reviews, Melania, a documentary for which the nominal US first lady was paid the obscene sum of $28 million (€23.7 million), demolishes any hope that under that big hat is a head swilling with profound thoughts. Looking stunning and saying nothing really is the sum of Missus Trump’s functions.

Though at 55 she would have been four decades past it for Epstein’s delectation, she is the photofit of discretion for the rich and powerful men he mustered in his orbit. There was former US president Bill Clinton who did, actually, have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky; Elon Musk, Grok-owner and father of 14 children by four women; Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, who claims he is incapable of sweating; Peter Mandelson, aka the Prince of Darkness and Britain’s erstwhile ambassador to the US; film director Woody Allen, married to his former partner’s adopted daughter; Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates; former Israeli prime minister Ehud Barak; and Brett Ratner, Melania’s vanity-movie director, who is captured hugging a woman he says was his then fiancee on a sofa beside Epstein in one of the released photographs.

Donald Trump’s name is all over the documents, though – as in the other cases too – in no incriminating sense, by legal definition. He is suing the Wall Street Journal for $10 million for reporting that he sent the sex trafficker a 50th birthday greeting by way of a drawing of a naked female.........

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