DEAR Patrick

I hope you don’t mind me dispensing with the honorific – we live now in more egalitarian times (or so we think).

I had thought ‘Paddy’ might do, but it’s a bit too familiar and in some parts it’s still used as a term of abuse. So Patrick it is.

The ‘saint’ thing is interesting. I know you were never canonised – maybe Leo XIV could do something about that when he gets time.

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But you were obviously considered to be decent sort in your time and the people elevated you to the ranks of the holy ones.

I could say your sainthood was the fifth century equivalent of winning The X Factor.

But that might be deemed offensive – though I’m sure you’ve a great pair of lungs, and ‘Christ Be Beside Me” is a catchy little tune.

Are you coming here to celebrate your saint’s day this year? I ask only because I know that you are also the patron saint of Nigeria and it’s a bit warmer there right now.

Do you have any say in the countries you get to be patron of? And how did you cope with two civil wars at the same time?

Our Troubles were bad, but the Nigeria-Biafra thing was at a whole different level.

I know Nigeria still has its problems, but we could........

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