Consider yourself forewarned, lads; while Reuters has catalogued the toys in the “luxury playbook” being marketed to new squillionaires, social media suggests there’s a new status symbol for the aspirational “alpha male”. And it’s not a Birkin-for-boys – even if Erling Haaland is wearing one.

We are in a moment where traditional status symbols have been upended by a reluctance to imbue objects – or relationships – with their heritage prestige. As a feminist, I propose, with pride, that women are to blame.

The market for luxury status symbols is whoever has the money and power to attain them. Historically, that’s men – and 86% of the world’s billionaires are men. The world’s highest-paid athletes? Men. The world’s highest-paid film actors? Also, men. Heads of government? Mostly men. The Global Media Monitoring Project reported that, yes, as recently as last year, an overwhelming number of news stories are sourced from men, quote from men and are – would you believe it? – about men. The cachet of such splendiferous achievement has traditionally been demonstrated through association with glamorous objects and lifestyles that only privileged status affords. When achievement is gendered, so are many of its rewards. Relationships are not extrinsic to this dynamic –........

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