Life has been feeling heavy for a while but since Monday it has felt overwhelming.

Our communities have been through so much: bushfires, floods, fugitives, lockdowns and bushfires – and that’s only since 2019. Throughout all this there has been one familiar face lightening the load during uncertain times: the smiling face of Helen Haines.

During past disasters it always felt as though there were things we could do to help each other. Right now it’s really hard to know what to do. It’s pretty simple to understand how a fire starts or why a flood stops but in this moment things seem so much more complex.

I had just returned from a run when I found out what had happened to Helen. The feeling is almost indescribable, a mixture of disbelief, anger and sadness.

My immediate thought was how could this have happened to her? Of all people? Surely this is not real. What do I say? What can you say to something so senseless?

I felt sick. I still feel sick. I keep asking myself: what do I do? How do we respond to this? What do we do when the person we use for strength is the person needing ours?

This grief and confusion is palpable........

© The Guardian