menu_open Columnists
We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close

Don’t filter your dates by age and hobbies, ask them how they shop

9 5
sunday

A friend of mine once declined a date with a kind, funny, clever man because she hated his shoes. When she relayed this to our group of twentysomethings, it didn’t warrant comment or discussion, because it was such a rational decision, which we all would have made. I mean, come on – you can’t go out with someone with bad trainers, can you?

Fortunately for the continuation of the human race, today’s daters appear to be a little less fastidious. A recent report on relationships by the dating app Plenty of Fish not only failed to mention footwear, but showed that people are keen to skip the small-talk phase, so weighty conversation topics such as life goals and dealbreakers are now brought up straight away.

“What we’re seeing for 2026 is a real shift in mindset,” reports PoF’s PR manager, Eva Gallagher. “Singles have a more grounded sense of purpose.”

This is a good start, but if you really want to know whether you’re suited to long-term togetherness, there are some topics you need to talk about from the off. These are the real dealbreakers, and would be much more fruitful dating-app search filters than age and hobbies.

For example, how long before a flight do you arrive at the airport? This is rarely addressed at an early stage – and no, a........

© The Guardian