If I had a dollar for every time Donald Trump said something inane, I would be a very rich woman. But even with an income that steady, I could never hope to be as flush as the president. A Forbes calculation from March puts his net worth at about $6.5bn – and it’s growing rapidly. Trump made $2.2bn in 2025 via business interests that ranged from selling cryptocurrency and Trump Bibles to offering early access to his (often market-moving) Truth Social posts.

To be fair, Trump isn’t making all this money just so he can buy golf clubs and gold toilets. No, he’s amassing these billions for the good of the little people; it’s altruism, not avarice! “I do this for our Country, not myself,” the president wrote on Truth Social on Sunday night alongside an AI-generated picture of him trading Intel stock. “I’ve made Hundreds of Billions of Dollars on Stocks, and many other type Holdings, for the U.S.A., not myself, and all I do is get criticized by the Radical Left Dumocrats. Very unfair, but what can you do!”

Oh, I have some ideas about what you can do, Mr President. Unfortunately, I can’t print most of them. I also can’t explain why Trump said he’s made hundreds of billions, apart........

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