I’ve been to two weddings where the bride and groom refused to play the Killers’ pop-rock hit Mr Brightside, and both ended in divorce. Well, not yet or anything – but I’m sure it’s coming. How happy can a couple really be if they’re not willing to play the biggest banger to ever bang moments after their hearts have been bound together as one? There are some things that should never be missing from a wedding unless you outright detest your guests. Canapes, yes. Cake, sure. And the opportunity to scream, “Comin’ out of my cage and I’ve been doin’ just fine” next to someone’s Auntie Debs? Undoubtedly.

Why should a song about jealousy, paranoia and infidelity pump through the speakers on your special day? Because everyone knows it. Mr Brightside is the third........

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