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Detransitioner: ‘Gender-Affirming Care’ Was The Least Caring Thing Ever Done To Me

What saved me was not affirmation of untruth but affirmation of reality.

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Today, I spend my time taking my children ice skating, walking them through the park, and making art — painting, embroidery, anything that feels grounded and real. But a decade ago, I could not have imagined this life. Sexually assaulted at a young age and growing up in an alcoholic home, my childhood was anything but stable. In that vulnerable state, as a pubescent girl, I was conned into believing that altering my body would fix my trauma. 

Searching for any sort of relief, I found a community online among people who called themselves transgender. They were hurting too; it appeared obvious as I scrolled through chat rooms and posts about their traumatic backgrounds. It made me feel seen, heard, and validated. In that shared suffering, I felt understood for the first time.

That virtual reality slowly seeped into my everyday life. I started to believe my distress was not the result of trauma or chaos in my life, but that I had been born in the wrong body. I believed I was a man trapped in a female body. I believed surgery and hormones were not options; they were necessities. 

When I brought these convictions to trusted adults, I........

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