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UK Bans Cigarettes From Killing Citizens Because Migrants Are Already Doing It So Well

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24.04.2026

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UK Bans Cigarettes From Killing Citizens Because Migrants Are Already Doing It So Well

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The United Kingdom announced Tuesday it will place a lifetime ban on tobacco products for anyone born in 2009 or after, in a major power-sharing agreement struck between government euthanizers and migrant knife-attackers.

“الحمد لله، ورمضانٌ مباركٌ دائم — [cough, cough] — I mean … My fellow Britons,” Labour Prime Minister Keir Starmer began. “In conjunction with our nation’s pride, the National Health Service, and our most cherished friends and neighbors, the knife-wielding community, we have determined to ban tobacco products for all British young........

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