It swept up out of Antarctica with a vengeance. The mass of cold air ambushed south east Australia, plunging temperatures and breaking a cycle of heat and humidity with a preview of the winter to come.

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Some shivered, others breathed a sigh of relief after a sweat-drenched summer. I enjoyed the best sleeps for months, relishing the warm weight of the doona instead of a clammy sheet as minimum temperatures dipped into the low teens.

After the rain and wind departed, the days were crisp and luminous, a slight chill in the morning, warm sunshine by midday. Autumnal perfection.

Yet here we are, arse about, soaking in the trappings of spring. Eggs and bunnies are everywhere, symbols of fertility and fecundity, of rebirth after the long dormancy of winter. Our children make bonnets, a tradition to mark the end of Lent and the renewal of spring, when dusting off winter beanies would be more appropriate.

Here in Australia it's actually harvest season.

I know this because just the other day I passed a roadside sign offering pumpkins for sale, which made me wonder if we really ought to be gearing up for Halloween and whether that other big winter celebration, Christmas, ought to be held in July. Yes, yes, I know it marks the birth of Christ but the festivities are also linked to earlier knees-ups marking the depths of winter.

Certainly, roast turkey, glazed ham, plum pudding, eggnog and mince pies - the traditional Christmas feast that somehow endures in Australia - are more suited to winter than summer. And there's something faintly absurd about decking the halls with holly and frosting the windows with fake snow when it's nudging 35 degrees outside and we're getting around in shorts and thongs.

It might be the December heat that has us enslaved to Christmas favourites like Love Actually. Those scenes of a chilly London, the characters rugged up in their winter woolies, offer vicarious relief, soothing sunburn from the morning at the beach.

This seasonal dissonance makes for some silly arrangements. Celebrating Christmas as we prepare for the long summer break involves a ridiculous schedule of Christmas drinks and parties at the very time we all long to wind down. A........

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