Blame a windmill—you know Trump wants to. But all it took was a single gust, in all its fury, to expose the 80-year-old president’s gaping, balding head, flipping his comb-over straight up like the current inflation numbers.

Just a few days later, however, Trump walked onstage in Las Vegas with newfound lush locks. A stupendous surprise of a head full of hair. Within hours, the reaction to Trump’s wig, or weave or “hamster,” or whatever it was, had spread like a hyper-charged dose of Finasteride. A hair-raising explosion of memes, photoshopped drag-queen updos, and satirical ads for a fictional “Trump hair serum” followed.

And then the next day again, Trump was back in the Oval Office, but his new do was not. He was caught with his hair down, the harsh reality of nothingness exposed.

The wind didn’t make Trump a punchline—it just showed the truth. The weave is what made him one. Like everything else Trump tries to fix, the fix becomes the joke. He can’t leave a bad hair day alone, so he covers it with something worse, and the cover-up is what people actually remember.

It’s also the whole story of his tangled, disheveled,........

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