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No one would want to live in the District of Columbia of Donald Trump’s fever dream. At a press conference on Monday, the president described a city “overtaken by violent gangs and bloodthirsty criminals,” a place teeming with “roving mobs of wild youth” and “drugged-out maniacs.”

That was his excuse for deploying 800 National Guard troops and 500 federal agents to patrol the city and harass unhoused people for living on the street. He will also attempt to place the Metropolitan Police Department under federal control, though the extent to which he can legally take over remains to be seen.

For the past few days, all across D.C., federal law enforcement officers have been popping up in most incongruous places. Homeland Security officials wandered the pricey, condo-filled corridors of Navy Yard, where the baseball stadium sits. Border Patrol cops loitered on the sidewalks of a popular nightlife strip, where they got an earful from a passerby in a pink pointelle shirt. (They arrested him after he tossed his Subway sub at one of their bulletproof vests.) Over the weekend, a crew of Drug Enforcement Administration officers was spotted strolling along a path by the National Mall, surrounded by joggers and tourists enjoying the afternoon sun.

Bewildered by the sudden influx of armed and armored agents swarming my hometown,........

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