I heard something profound in a grief support group this week, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

It may surprise you that I still attend grief support more than five years in. To be honest, it surprises me too. I keep thinking I’ll leave the group (part of David Kessler’s Tender Hearts online community), but then I check in one more time and invariably hear something so helpful that I am compelled to continue.

The thing is, grief is perpetually evolving. We mostly picture those early, crippling, sobbing days and years, but when that terrible phase passes, we still face new challenges, one after another. Losing a spouse affects every corner of life. Surprisingly, I have only recently come to understand the extent to which I must rebuild my life and identity without Tom.

I checked in a little late to this Zoom support group, which is specifically for people who have been grieving for a while. At that moment, a woman I like and respect, who lost her spouse about the same time I........

© Psychology Today