Replaying conversations is a sign of emotional sensitivity.

Rumination can feel productive but it actually amplifies distress.

You can learn to interrupt the replay loop, and it doesn't require positive thinking.

Julia, one of my clients, came to our last session feeling exhausted. She told me she didn't fall asleep until 2 am because she kept thinking about an interaction she'd had with a coworker the previous day. She was afraid she'd put her foot in her mouth, and the more she thought about it, the worse she felt.

Replaying conversations is incredibly common; I’ve heard stories like Julia’s from many clients over the years. They’re often frustrated because they know ruminating on the past negatively affects their mood. They can’t seem to step outside of the loop.

How your personality shapes overthinking

Neuroticism is a personality trait that describes how intensely and quickly you respond to stressors. This trait exists on a continuum. At one end, some people don’t get their feathers ruffled easily; at the other end, people are more emotionally sensitive. Most people sit somewhere in between.

At a basic, evolutionary level, emotional sensitivity keeps us safe by alerting us to danger. When a social interaction doesn't go the way we expected, we tend to focus our attention on the potential threat (the conversation) until........

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