The Fundamentals of Sex

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Mutual pleasure means prioritizing curiosity and authentic enjoyment for all partners.

Ignoring pleasure in sex education deprives children and adults of vital sexual health knowledge.

Sexual exploitation includes manipulation, not just force—true consent requires open communication.

This post is part 2 in a series. Read part 1 here.

Pleasure: Mutual Pleasure Matters

Pleasure goes beyond simply having orgasms. It’s about curiosity, connection, and caring about your partner’s experience. Pleasure will look different for different people’s or a couple’s experiences, and it can change across the lifespan. People in ethical non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships will also need to consciously explore how their stimulation and experiences with one partner may differ greatly from their sex life with another partner.

Caregivers or parents will often ignore the topic of pleasure when providing sex education for their children at each stage of their developmental growth. Many adults are uncomfortable and lack their own education to provide thoughtful and loving guidance to their children or young ones about the importance of experiencing pleasure by themselves or with a partner, and of being equally committed to offering to give pleasure to their partners. Most parents were not taught this and, because of their own embarrassment or shame, are quick to defend this decision by stating that their kids are too young for sex and/or masturbation.

This same blind spot or denial around discussing sexual pleasure can also occur when adult children are caring for their elderly parents who are involved in sexual relationships. Adult children, while fully grown adults,........

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