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Depression in men often appears as disconnection, shame, and loss of vitality rather than sadness.

Internalized ideals of masculinity shape emotional life, creating conflict and hidden suffering.

Therapy can help men understand these conflicts, easing self-criticism and restoring connection.

In therapy, I've found that my male clients don't often start with the word depression.

Instead, some may talk about feeling diminished, unmotivated, or stuck. They may feel lost, disconnected from themselves, cut off from joy or pleasure. Even if they are functioning well in the world, they may feel isolated, irritated, filled with self-doubt or shame as they face their own limitations, have a hard time navigating relationships, or try to find a way to “figure things out.” Some men describe a life that has become strained, empty, or directionless. Difficulties in men’s mental health are often expressed as a loss of self-regard, loneliness, or vitality.

All these experiences can be expressions of depression in men, which are both shaped and impacted by social expectations.

Depression is itself indicative of other challenges, conflicts, or feelings experienced deep inside. It is not an isolated “symptom” that can be fully addressed by a targeted intervention, without understanding it in the context of the individual’s history, socialization, and personality.

During in-depth therapy, some men may recognize their depression as stemming from the sense of falling short of social expectations, failing to become the person they were “supposed” to become. In other cases, depression may come from long........

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