For many people their sense of self and happiness depends on just a few outlets.

The danger is if that their primary sources change, there are no options to switch to.

Instead, diversification is key—create a broad foundation based on multiple sources of happiness and purpose.

No reputable financial advisor would suggest risking your entire life savings on a single stock—like the old saying, Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Still, many people who might follow this financial advice often ignore it when it comes to their daily lives: their self-esteem may depend on whether they get promoted to VP at work, or their success as a parent is tied to their child getting into an Ivy League college or making the varsity football team; or, their social ties might rely on a single close friend or partner.

Just as putting all your resources into one stock is a recipe for financial disaster, relying on only one or two baskets to hold your emotional needs can lead to trouble if those baskets are tipped over: your company might go out of business, forcing you to start over elsewhere; your child might not get accepted into that elite college, or be unable to make the team because of an injury. Similarly, your friend might move away, your partner might withdraw because they’re feeling depressed or stressed.

To avoid feeling stranded in situations like these that are beyond your control, it’s better to have multiple options you can switch between—diversify, just as your financial advisor would recommend. Here’s how to get started:

Take a step back and see what’s missing.

There is a concept in therapy about identifying the “holes”—what the individual, couple, or family cannot do or does not discuss. Often, the solution to their problems and ultimately, even their happiness, lies in exploring these areas—essentially stepping outside their comfort zones and going where they normally won't.

The same idea applies here: Diversifying—creating new baskets—involves venturing into unfamiliar territory, trying new things. Ask yourself what’s most lacking in your life—socially, professionally, or for your self-esteem—that you need to develop? Again, the more baskets the better.

Once you know where you want to go, it’s time to plan how to get there. If you’re quite isolated, consider ways to expand your social network; if your parenting or professional self-esteem depends on your child’s achievements or that promotion, step back and appreciate your child's basic character and values, or how much your professional skills have developed over time.

But, if possible, also dig deeper: consider how your tunnel vision and myopic focus might actually be solutions to an underlying problem. For example, having a small social circle could be the result of being naturally shy and having social anxiety, just as putting all your eggs in the parenting or job baskets is a byproduct of anxiety that keeps your world small, or longstanding self-criticism that tells you're likely to fail if you were to change jobs or careers.

Ideally, focus on both—what you can proactively do to expand your world and, just as importantly, attack what might be holding you back.

Let excitement be your guide.

Instead of doing what you think you should, try following, even in the smallest way, what excites you. Following excitement or simple preferences not only helps you break free from running on autopilot or being driven by others’ approval, but also points the direction to what you truly want and need. By letting these positive feelings be your guide, you're rewiring your brain and lowering your anxiety.

Experiment and be patient.

Don't think in terms of makeovers or some do-or-die campaigns. Instead, keep expectations low, and approach new opportunities, behaviors, and experiences like an explorer rather than a conqueror. Discover what you enjoy, what fits your personality, and what excites you.

Building more baskets is about expanding your world, gaining more flexibility and depth. Stay curious, and feel free to take small steps,

What do you need to get started?

© Psychology Today