The quest for true love is often disappointing and disillusioning. In the five decades that I have been working with people who are searching for their one and only, I have heard many tales of hopeless searching.

It is not that people don’t try their best. They read books. They listen to the media. They consult friends. They go to seminars. They seek therapy to try to eliminate any dark places in their personality and behaviors that could arise if things don’t go the way they want them to.

Yet, that perfect person remains elusive.

It is not hopeless. I know from experience that the clearer the beam you send out into the world, the more likely that you will reach the right target. That means you have to know who you are and what would truly make you happy in the long run. You also have to be realistic about knowing whether what you have to give is what the person you want is searching for.

It is also crucial to realize and accept that finding your person in the moment is not the same as creating a relationship that gets better over the course of time. What can feel so right at the beginning of many relationships most often disappears as the partnership faces the reality of presenting it to the real........

© Psychology Today