Authenticity and self-expression are linked to psychological well-being across sexual orientations.

Many LGBTQ people have cultivated skills for resisting shame and creating belonging out of necessity.

Pride celebrations may offer everyone—not just queer people—a model for living more openly and honestly.

Every June, I am inevitably asked a version of this question, by someone who is not L, G, B, T, Q, or :

“Do you really need to celebrate Pride?”

I’ve learned to not answer right away. Instead, I pause, and then ask them in return:

“Do you need to celebrate Pride?”

By turning the question onto them, I don’t mean to imply that the querier is queer (necessarily), only that they are human.

Unlike the queer people I know who celebrate Pride, many of the heteronormative people I know are deeply ambivalent about taking up space authentically in their own lives.

They struggle to voice their genuine thoughts, feelings, and desires directly, if those expressions conflict with normative expectations. They hide vulnerabilities that could challenge the dominant groups around them, and mask opinions that might rock the boat. They worry that by embodying their true selves—fully and freely—they could hurt other people, and/or face rejection.

This is because most of us—regardless of our sexual or gender orientations—have been taught early on that we must fit in at all costs, or else…

And because our fear of not fitting in is so great, conformity is often rewarded. There are reliable scripts, passed down from generation to generation, on how to date, to marry, to parent, to work, and to celebrate, in order to avoid the shame of being cast out. Sleepwalking down these traditional runways can feel safe, stabilizing, and perhaps even—on occasion—deeply chosen.

Sometimes we choose to follow traditional guideposts for personal and meaningful reasons. But many other times we simply do it out of........

© Psychology Today