Are there people you wish you could be more like? You have goals, such as to speak up more, to stop and breathe when you get angry, or to listen with more curiosity before declaring your opinion. You set these self-improvement goals and then find reasons for not changing now, or you simply forget them.

Your desire to transform is real, but your brain is sabotaging your goals.

Your brain prefers that you go about your days based on how you define yourself from past experience. Your brain likes the security of repetition and certainty, even when you know you can improve.1

You can create new habits through daily practice if the habits don’t interfere with your self-concept. If the changes you seek require a shift in your identity—how you define yourself—you are likely to rationalize ways to avoid the transformation you desire.

Maja Djikic, author of The Possible Self, said, “Who we believe we are is often the enemy of who we want to become.”2

The convenient, unexamined........

© Psychology Today