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Affluent domestic abusers often dominate their victims through tactics of coercive control.

The "culture of affluence" creates extra isolation for wealthy domestic violence victims.

Understanding the special issues wealthy victims face will enable psychotherapists to meet their needs better.

People sometimes have a hard time believing that domestic abuse matters in wealthy families. And by “people,” I mean judges, juries, neighbors, colleagues, psychotherapists, and everyone else.

In some cases, the perpetrators were wealthy men who preyed upon lower-income girls, boys, and women. And in some cases, their victims were their spouses, who effectively lived in a gilded cage. And yes, that’s a list of men because men are more common perpetrators of all crimes, including over 90 percent of intimate partner physical and sexual violence, stalking, and homicide.

Affluent abusers hide their actions from outsiders, often choosing coercive control tactics without overt physical violence. Coercive control is a strategy that some people use to dominate their intimate partners. It can include intimidation, isolation, monitoring, manipulation, and financial, verbal, physical, and sexual abuse.

Not all these elements are present in every case. A wealthy abuser with a reputation to maintain may be more likely to control his wife or girlfriend through intimidation and sexual abuse than blows to the head, although affluent men certainly commit physical and sexual abuse and even domestic violence homicides (femicide). Their sense of entitlement makes them think they can get away with it. And all too often, they do.

The Culture of Affluence Increases Isolation

Luthar (2003) first described the “culture of affluence.” Her research found high levels of anxiety, depression, and alcohol and drug use among affluent teens. Others have described a lack of intimacy, pressure to present a positive public image, and a lack of authentic friends, which means that a domestic violence victim may be unusually isolated. Materialism, perfectionism, and social status may be more valued than interpersonal bonds. The over-valuation of youthful beauty may frighten same-age wives who contemplate divorce.

Pressures to maintain a reputation can make it exceptionally hard for wealthier victims to seek needed help from domestic violence agencies, the police, or doctors. They may access couples’ therapy. But many therapists don’t routinely hold separate sessions to ask each member of the couple about coercive control and other forms of abuse. And when asked, domestic violence victims may deny abuse. (It helps to ask about specific behaviors rather than the........

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