Conflict follows a cycle. Learning these phases can help you choose the right response.

The first step is to figure out how to regulate yourself. Breathing and self-talk can help.

De-escalate others through acknowledgment, curiosity, and summarizing statements.

Hostile interactions rarely come out of nowhere. It starts small. Someone is triggered, and people escalate. The good news? Once you understand the pattern, you can interrupt it.

Most conflict follows five phases: a trigger moment, escalation, crisis, recovery, and a post-crisis crash. Knowing where you are in that cycle can change how you respond and help navigate whether the situation gets worse or better.

During a trigger moment, something sets a person off. It may be obvious or subtle. A comment lands wrong. A moment opens old wounds. A need goes unmet. At this stage, the emotional temperature is rising, but still manageable. Some may choose to get curious in the moment. Others may feel they were intentionally slighted or get triggered themselves.

In the latter scenario, we enter the next phase: escalation. Emotions intensify, voices get louder, words get more blunt. This is where many interactions go off the rails, often because both people react instead of respond. In reaction mode, people typically go into flight, fight, or freeze. Those in flight or freeze can help reduce the hostile interaction, even if just temporarily. But those who go into fight will keep the escalation going—and........

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