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Holidays centered around family can feel overwhelming after abuse or estrangement.

Healing sometimes means choosing distance from people who caused harm.

You can acknowledge your parent’s pain without sacrificing your own emotional safety this Mother’s Day.

Sarah had been low contact with her mother for the past few months and was approaching her first Mother’s Day.

“I mailed a card and scheduled a text message to be sent on Sunday,” she said. “But why do I still feel guilty? Like I should be doing something more?”

“What more do you think you could do?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Anything more just drains me emotionally. It reminds me of all the birthdays and holidays and graduations she ruined. I spent years ignoring those things and turning the other cheek just to save face for the rest of the family. I had to pretend she wasn’t doing those things because I had no one safe to turn to.”

“Now, as an adult with my own children, I finally have the safety and strength to recognize what happened. I know I cannot safely spend Mother’s Day with her. I just........

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