Oprah recently hosted a powerful conversation on family estrangement and the choice to go no-contact. Shortly after, the New York Times ran a piece titled “Life Is Too Short to Fight With Your Family,”1 which only amplified the public discussion.

Since then, I’ve noticed a wave of commentary—some helpful, but some unfortunately deeply misinformed. In my work with survivors of abusive, neglectful, or chronically unsafe families, I hear the same misconceptions again and again. Many of these ideas minimize survivors’ experiences and mischaracterize what estrangement actually is.

Here are a few of the most common misconceptions I hear, and what the research and clinical experience really show.

This is one of the most common and most dismissive narratives circulating today. Family estrangement is not a fad; nor is it a moral decline provoked by a social-media-inspired movement. Therapists know that estrangement has existed across generations, but what’s new is that people finally feel safer being open and honest about having had this experience.

Research does show that people being open about estrangement has increased2. However, this is largely due to the fact that in previous eras, people stayed silent because of stigma, religious pressure, financial........

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